Secretly
by macgirlanon
Summary: I did this by request (one of the reasons I haven't finished my Murphy oneshot yet). Norman X OC. Rated M for later smut. Let me know what you think! "I've been a friend with unbiased views, and then secretly lust after you."
1. Chapter 1

Picking up the phone, "Hello?" my voice sounded more chipper than usual.

"Hi!" a familiar voice replied.

"Oh, hi Helena! How are you?"

"Very well, thanks. Is Norman there? I couldn't reach him on his cell."

"Nope. He should be home shortly..."

"Can I speak with Mingus then?"

I looked at the blue eyed doll on the opposite side of the island in the all-white kitchen, "Mingus...?"

He shook his head dramatically, his shaggy blonde hair falling into his eyes.

Cocking my eyebrows in confusion, "Um...er...no, he's at a friend's. I'm just here getting a few things done for Norman."

"Well, I'll be in touch. Give Mingus all my love."

"Sure will."

Saying our goodbyes and hanging up, I placed the phone back on the receiver. "Alright, why didn't you want to talk to your mom?" I rested my hands on the counter top, grilling him with my eyes.

"Because she wants me to spend the summer in Denmark."

"And?" I leaned back up, crossing my arms.

"I wanna stay here with my dad this summer," he shrugged.

"Your mom would understand if you told her, Ming," I said, giving him a half-smile to reassure him.

"Yeah, but I know how she is and she'd still be a little hurt," sighing, he playfully plopped his forehead onto the kitchen bar.

I reached out and shuffled his hair, turning it into a blonde mess, "Just tell her, kiddo. It'll be okay."

"I'm no kid," he sneered causing me to let out a chuckle.

When I answered the ad for an experienced nanny 10 years ago, I was just a broke college student trying to make it out alive. Now here I am at 29, still doing it. I got attached to Mingus really quickly. Even with my two degrees, I can't find it in my heart to leave this behind. Did I mention my boss is the kindest, funniest, and most gorgeous human being alive? And he's an awesome father. And an artist. And one hell of a cook. And I'm hopelessly in love with him. I didn't plan it that way, but when you hang around him for years (oh, who am I kidding, mere seconds it all it takes), you can't help it. He draws you in and locks you up without you even realizing it. Norman plays none-the-wiser though. Maybe he's not playing, maybe he really doesn't notice my screaming, aching heart when he looks into my eyes.

"How about we walk down to the skate park until your dad gets home?" I offered in an attempt to cheer Ming up.

"Guitar lessons," he says, nodding over at his Les Paul in the corner.

"Oh, shit! I totally forgot!" I spin around to reach up into the cabinet for the cat food. "Let me feed Eye real quick, and let's get going!"

Mingus always got a good laugh at my scatterbrained-ness.

"Ha ha ha," I replied sarcastically while he grabbed his guitar up. "And get your hoodie, it's chilly out!" I shouted to him as he made his way down to the foyer.

* * *

On the way home from his lessons, Norman gave me a call saying I could take the rest of the day off and that if Mingus wanted to he could spend the night with his friend Cody who lived 2 floors down. I hated it when he cut my days short. I really liked hanging out with him and Mingus. I moved to NY for college from my home down in the south. I really didn't have anybody, a few friends that were always too busy to deal with the likes of me and that was about it. After I dropped Mingus off, I took my time driving home to my lonesome one bedroom flat on the other side of Manhattan. I hated being attached to them the way that I was. Hell, I was even attached to Eye.

Stopping at a red light I noticed Mingus left his 'lucky' hoodie (the hoodie he was wearing when the girl he had a crush on all school year had finally given him his first kiss, a secret he told only to me) in the backseat of my Jeep. _Perfect excuse to head back, _I thought. Man, I made myself sick realizing how desperate and alone I really was. I actually sat through the red (then green then yellow then red again) light debating on whether or not to drive back to Norman's apartment, but before I really answered myself, I was already halfway back to the luxury Manhattan apartment.

Getting off the elevator, I got butterflies in my stomach. Ten years and my heart still flutters crazily when I know I'm going to see him, ugh, it's sick. I knocked on the door several times before letting myself in with my key, figuring Norman was either napping or rocking out on his iPod while on the treadmill.

I was wrong...as I usually am.

"Oh, God! I am so sorry!" I cried, throwing my hands over my eyes in embarrassment.

"Christ! Allie!" Norman scrambled up from the couch, covering himself and his...accomplice...with a blue cashmere throw. The one I laundered today. _Yeah, just throw it over the naked supermodel like she's not there._

"I am so sorry! Mingus left his favorite hoodie in my car and-" I took my hands away from eyes, still shutting them tightly, "-and I just wanted to bring it back, if I had known-"

"Allie, it's okay," he said, his sexy, smooth voice so reassuring until I remembered I had just caught him grinding on some chick I had never seen before. "This is Cassia, my uh-uh- my friend."

Barely opening my eyes, I overlooked the tall, thin blonde. She was gorgeous, of course. And younger. Couldn't be a day over 21. "Hi," I said evenly, though my insides were boiling with jealousy and hurt. I don't know why, I should be used to it by now.

"Hello," Cassia frowned, her accent thick and indistinguishable; covering her naked chest with a fraction of the blue cashmere.

"Um, I'll be on my way then, uh, here's the hoodie," I said, tossing it onto an armchair to the side and turning on my heel. "You two have a lovely evening," I said behind me, hoping there wasn't a trace of sadness in my voice.

"See you tomorrow, Al," Norman called after me.

I couldn't get out of that apartment fast enough. My whole body ached. I got back on the elevator, trying to find air...my chest heaving. _You should be used to it by now_. I was average. Completely average. He was perfect, in every way that a man could be perfect. Of course he would only bring home girls who looked like the just walked off the cover of Maxim. I slid down the steel wall of the elevator, burying my face into my hands. I felt this way every time...and I knew this wouldn't be the last time.

"This fucking sucks," I muttered to myself, wiping my damp nose on my coat sleeve.

* * *

I could usually peg Norman's girlfriends and how long they'd be in the picture. Cassia had stuck it out longer than I had guessed. 7 months now. Ugh. She was easy to hate, though. Sometimes I felt guilty for disliking the flavor of the week, but not with her. She was very rude, presumptuous, and immature...but not in front of Norm. She was a sweet little angel when he was around, which made me hate her even more.

But today, today's the straw that's going to break the camel's back.

"Mingus! Turn that damn thing off!" she screeched from the office.

We were hanging out in the rec room. Mingus, totally oblivious with his headset on and lounging in his gamer chair. He having a good time with his friends, chatting on X Box. I ignored her whining, just one time, relaxing on the couch with Eye on my lap looking through one of Norman's art books.

Barging up the hallway, her cellphone glued to her ear (as usual), and into the rec room, "I said turn the damn X Box off! It's too loud! I can't concentrate!" I rolled my eyes at her in Norman's favorite Circle Jerks shirt and her short shorts.

Mingus pulled his headset off, glaring into her, "No."

Cassia sighed and hung up her call, she was seething. "Don't make me count to five!"

Laying the book across my chest, I gave her fair warning, "Don't speak to him like that, he's not a baby. And it's not even that loud. Maybe you should talk business at your _own_ apartment." Eye in the Dark jumped off my lap, sensing the tension in the room.

"If he's not a baby then why the hell are you still here? He's too old for a nanny! I've been telling Norman for months now!" she threw her hands up, exasperated.

"Yes, because you have been around long enough to make those decisions," I said coolly.

"I'll have you know, Nanny Dearest, that Norman has asked me to move in with him," the corner of her mouth curved upward as she placed her hand on her hip.

Mingus jerked the headset from his ears and dropped the controller, not speaking as he hurried out of the room. I flinched hearing his bedroom door slam shut.

Getting up to follow after him, I bumped her purposely with my shoulder, "Good job. I'm sure that's something Norman wanted to have real discussion about with him, you didn't have to blurt it out like that."

"Get used to me being around, Allie."

I sneered, exiting the rec room and heading down the hallway to Mingus' bedroom door. "You okay, kiddo?" I asked, tapping on the door with my nails.

"I just need to be alone right now." I had never heard him sound so hurt.

"Okay," I reluctantly waived, not wanting to bombard him with a therapy session. I knew he'd talk to me when he was ready.

* * *

I sat out on the terrace alone, wrapped in a fleece blanket and watching the twinkling Manhattan lights below me. Cassia had left, when...I don't know. I was just thankful she was gone for the night at least. I lounged across the wicker chaise, my eyelids growing heavy. I woke with a start hearing the terrace door slide open.

Mingus stepped outside, pulling his hood over his head, "Hey."

I swung my legs over to sit up straight, "Hey kid. You alright?"

He shrugged, propping his elbows up on the stucco balcony, "I guess."

I gave him a half-hearted smile, "You know, I'm going to tell your dad about what happened with the Russian princess today. That's going to take care a lot of this problem."

"Yeah," he sighed. "I know," his voice sad and his eyes downcast.

"Well...what's on your mind, Ming?"

"Why can't my dad fall in love with someone like you?" he turned to look at me.

My stomach churned over, but I managed to fake a chuckle, "Mingus, c'mon now. I've known your dad for years now, it's not like that." _I wish it was. God, I wish it was.  
_  
"It'd just be nice, you know? I mean, if he's not going to be with my mom...I just want him to be with someone who's nice and laid back...someone I can count on to be there for me and him," he sighed again, looking too old for 13.

"Ming, I'm always going to be here for you and your dad, no matter what," I said, getting up to stand beside him. I wrapped my arm around his shoulder, my eyes misty with tears. I adored this kid. "I always got your back, dude."

He turned to look at me, his smile looking like his dad's, "Ditto."

Our conversation was interrupted as some of the apartment lights turned on through the glass behind us.

"Norm's home," I grumbled. I hated being the bearer of bad news.

"Well, dad's not going to take hearing about Cassia very well, so I'll be playing guitar in my room," he said, almost sympathetically patting my shoulder.

"Hey, you're making me tell him by myself?" my eyes followed Mingus to the sliding glass door.

Reaching for the door handle, "Better you than me!" he winked. "He knows I hated her guts," Mingus grinned before going back inside.

* * *

"Hello?" I answered my cell, squinting in the dark, trying to see my digital clock.

"Allie?"

"Sean?" I asked, my voice dry from a deep sleep. "It's 3 am. What's up? Is it Mingus?!"

"Um, no. It's Norman. And me. We're fucking plastered," he giggled.

"Dammit, Flanery," I groaned. I should have known this would happen with Sean being in town.

"Look, he needed to get his mind off of Cassidy!" Sean argued.

"Cassia." I frowned saying the name. "It's been like 4 weeks, he should be over her by now."

"Whatever. Anyway, homeboy won't let me put him in a cab. And I'm too drunk to drive."

"Where are you?" I said, sitting up in bed, switching on my bedside lamp.

Sean slurred a few times, but I finally got the address of the bar they were at. "Okay," I muttered. "Tell Norman I'll be there in 20."

I threw my blankets off me, part of me grumpy from exhaustion, part of me secretly flattered Sean thought to call me. In just my undies and a black ribbed tank, I pulled on some grey yoga pants and zipped up a pink hoodie over my top. I sleepily searched my apartment for my keys, giving my long, black hair a run through with my fingers. I didn't want to be totally unfortunate looking, even if he was drunk.

Sean greeted me as I pulled up to the curbside by Bemelman's Bar, his arm wrapped tight around a very drunk Norman. I rolled my window down, "You boys owe me," I joked, switching into park.

Sean opened the door, helping Norman slide into the passenger's side, "Take care of Reedenstien for me, love!"

I gave Sean a fake salute, "Yes sir."

"Babe, thank you sooo much for coming to get me," Norman smiled lazily at me, his blue eyes hidden behind his Ray Bans.

"Yeah, yeah," I said, putting my Jeep into drive.

Norman slept all the way to his apartment, which wasn't much of a drive. When we got into the parking garage, I unbuckled him as he snored. _You precious little shit, _I smiled to myself. Getting out of the Jeep and walking over to the passenger's side, I opened the door, "Norm, c'mon," I said, grabbing up one of his limp arms and draping it over my shoulder. _God, you smell so good. _I shook my head, trying to make the thoughts go away. "C'mon Norm!" I said again, giving him a little tug as he aimlessly stepped out of the car and rose to his feet.

"You're such a sweetheart, Allie," he slurred, his hand tightening onto my shoulder as I led us into the elevator.

"Don't mention it," I sighed.

When we got into the apartment, it was quiet. I forgot Helena was on hiatus and Mingus was with her. It was going to be a lonesome month for me...and Norman too. I waddled awkwardly with Norman by my side, halfway supporting him as I struggled to make it over to the white leather sofa in the living room. Shuffling around, his Ray Bans dropped to the floor. "Oh, shit," I muttered, "we'll pick them up later," I said, trying to keep him from bending us over to reach them.

"Almost there," I said breathlessly, pulling Norman alongside me. Finally making the last step to the couch, Norman dropped onto it, taking me with him. Right into his lap. I sucked in a deep breath and held it, not knowing what to do.

"Hi," he said, his fingers resting on my jawline, giving me a drunk but dashing smile.

I was frozen. Frozen more than a deer in headlights. I don't even know if I was breathing. _Get up, get up...get out of his lap. He's drunk. Get up! _I couldn't move though. His eyes were a little red and his breath smelled like straight vodka, but I couldn't turn away from him. I managed to murmur, "Um. Uh. Hi...?"

His fingers brushed across my jaw to my chin, he extended his forefinger to rest on my bottom lip gently. Now I really couldn't breathe, or speak, or move. His other hand rested on my thigh. "You're the best, Al."

I nodded, my eyes wide with fear.

"Thank you for everything you do for me and Mingus," his voice was soft and husky. He still sounded a bit drunk, though, which was the only thing that kept me anchored to reality. His forefinger swept back and forth over my bottom lip.

"You-you're...you're welcome," my voice trembled. Then I realized, it was not just my voice, but my entire body. I was paralyzed by this man. This man I had spent the past 10 years of my life worshiping in secret.

His hand on my thigh moved away to find the zipper of my hoodie, his eyes locked with mine as I felt the zipper going down. My heart pounded. "Norman..." I said, so unsure.

"It makes sense, you and me," he said, as the zipper reached the end, coming undone, his hand slipping down my shoulder in an attempt to disrobe me.

My heart pounded. _My stomach's not flat. I have stretch marks on my boobs. I still have that zit on my back. I'm not wearing any fucking makeup. _My brain always had good way of bullying me. I grabbed the end of my hoodie, zipping it back up. "Norman, I can't," my voice cracked. I wanted to cry. I was not good enough for him, drunk or not.

"Allie?" his hand dropped from my chin, his red eyes concerned. I bet he never had a woman turn him down.

"I need to go," I said, climbing out of his lap, fishing around in my hoodie pocket for my keys.

He sat on the sofa in disbelief, "Why?"

"I just need to go. You need to sleep it off. I know Mingus is with Helena, but if you need me around this week, call me," I felt my lips fighting the urge to quiver as bolted to the front door, turning around and stealing another glance at Norman. He looked genuinely confused. I sighed, opening the door and making my way out of there.


	2. Chapter 2

I stopped by my apartment on the way to pick up Norman's dry cleaning, sure that I had left the pick-up ticket in my other coat. No way they'd let me pick up two Versace suits without the ticket.

"God, I lose everything," I scolded myself, searching through the endless tunnel of jackets in my closet, growing frustrated as my phone rang and rang.

"The phone always rings when I'm busy!" I say, dipping my hands in and out of pockets until I finally found the dry cleaning receipt. Of course, the answering machine picks up now.

"Hi, Allie. This is Jacklyn...again. Just calling to see if you're still interested in the curator position? You'd be quite an asset here at the Metro. Hope to hear from you soon." _Beep_.

Shutting my closet door, I rested my forehead on the door. The day after picking up Norman from that bar (which he supposedly 'didn't remember'), I started looking for another job. I had been torturing myself for 10 long years. I had two degrees that were going to waste. Part of me knew I couldn't leave Mingus, but the other part of me knew Mingus was getting old enough to take care of himself... then what? Part of me wanted to ignore that it would kill me not to be able to see Norman every other day. I sighed, clenching my eyes shut and trying to fight tears. The buzzing of my phone snapped me out of my self-pity, checking it...Norman, of course.

"I got another favor to ask when you bring the suits up. Thanks again! You're the best! xx N."

"Ugh," I groaned, dropping my cell back into my handbag, knowing whatever it was that my answer would be yes.

* * *

"Norman, no way," I shook my head and crossed my arms, sitting on the arm of the sofa.

"I can't go alone!" he whined, fumbling with his tie, pacing the living room. _God, why is he so beautiful...even when he's getting on my last nerve._

"I just don't think it's a good idea!" I said, getting up and stopping his pacing enough to straighten his tie. He looked heavenly in the gray Versace suit with a black shirt and tie.

"Allie, I am so nervous. I need you," his eyes met mine. I couldn't win against this man.

"Norm, you will do great! Your work is amazing, everyone is going to love it," I reassured him, backing away and resuming my spot on the sofa.

"This is the first short film I've directed all by myself. I don't know. It's something I've been working on for a long time! I need you there! Even if everyone hates it, I know you'll convince me that everyone loves it. And I'll believe you."

I giggled, looking down, "Why would you believe me?"

"'Cause I trust you more than anyone else," he said sincerely, putting his hands together under his chin as if to beg.

"Dammit, Norman!" I rolled my eyes. "I don't even have anything to wear," I motioned to my ripped jeans and Bon Jovi tee shirt, "and this is would be unacceptable."

"I knew you'd say yes, so I bought you something. It's in the guest room," he gave me a cheeky smile. _You cocky little bastard._

"You what?!" I groaned, embarrassed. "How do you even know what size I wear?!" _I bet he thinks I'm fat. I bet Cassia was a size 1, maybe a 0. Shut up, brain. Shut up. _

"I've known you for a decade, Al. I have a few things about you figured out," he shrugged, petting Eye who was lounging on the back of the couch.

I reluctantly got up, boring holes into Norman's head with my eyes as he grinned at my displeasure. Walking into the guest room, a beautiful black dress laid across the bed. It was knee-length with a low back. Chiffon and silk, with just enough sparkle to make it stand out. Beside it, two slick, black pumps. I sighed, "I'm going to break my neck in those things." Picking the dress up, I examined the tag. Marc Jacobs, of course it would be name brand. Size 9. _Wow, he got my size right, _I smiled to myself though it quickly faded to the mess I saw in the mirror across from me. I had never been out with him...I mean, like out-out. _People are going to judge you and fangirls are going to freak out and this is going to be a big mistake.__  
_Closing my eyes, hoping to shut my mind up, I whispered to myself, "You're doing this for Norman, Alyson."

* * *

The ride back to Norman's was quiet. My dress fit perfectly, I managed to do something with my hair and makeup, but it was somehow not enough. Paparazzi and fangirls screaming over and over from outside the velvet ropes, "Are you his girlfriend?" "Hey, maybe he's not so shallow after all, she's about a 7." "Since when is he not dating models?"

Yep, I needed the reminder I was average and undeserving. If I hadn't of had a bottle of Moet to keep my company, I would have lost my shit. I could see it on TMZ now, "Reedus' New Girl Flips Her Shit At Premiere Party!"

"Alyson, you alright?" Norman said, reaching for my hand in the dark town car. Ben, the driver, was politely ignoring us. "Al?" Norman asked again.

Purposely moving my hand way from his touch, I exhaled slowly, "What?" My head was woozy from the champagne and my throat hurt as I tried to hold back a hundred tears.

"Don't let what anyone said bother you, okay?"

I kept my eyes directed out the window, taking in the flashing lights of the city, not wanting him to see the gleam of tears in them, "I'm not."

"They hurt me, too. Asking me when I stopped being shallow...I didn't know I was," he scoffed, cracking the window on his side and lighting up a smoke.

I rolled my eyes. Maybe he didn't realize it. Maybe he wasn't shallow in his mind. He was dating within in his league, right? He was incredible, why should he date anything less than the universal idea of beautiful? "Don't let it bother you, either," I said flatly. "And don't ever ask me to go to a thing like that with you again, okay?"

"Allie," Norman chided.

"You can have any woman...anybody you want! So just don't ask me again, okay?" I turned to face him, a stray tear running down my cheek.

Reaching over with his free hand, he wiped my tear with his finger, "Why're you crying?" He rubbed my tears between his thumb and forefinger, taking a drag from his cigarette with his other hand.

_Because I love you. I love you so much. And I can never have you. _"I'm a woman," I lied. "My feelings were hurt tonight," a little more honest.

"No, it's something else, Allie," he turned to blow smoke out the window. Looking back at me pointedly, "I thought we were friends? You can tell me."

"We're friends," I repeated. My mind's fogginess from the Moet made me a little braver than usual. "We're _friends_, Norman. _Friends_."

He cocked his head, confused. He didn't get it. I gave up.

"You looked stunning tonight, Allie. I just thought you should know that," he offered in one last attempt to comfort me.

I nodded, turning my attention back to what was outside of the window. "Yeah, thanks."

* * *

I was so happy to have Mingus back in NY. I had missed him so much. I know Norman did too. Norm and I had avoided each other for a while since his premiere party, with the exception of me getting his dry cleaning and taking Eye to the vet.

"How's your mother doing?" I said, embracing Mingus as he dropped his duffel bag in the foyer.

"Great! We had an awesome time," he smiled. His cheeks had a bit of tan to them, and his hair was a little blonder.

"And the Virgin Islands? How incredible were they?" I asked, brushing my fingertip over his bronzed cheek.

"I didn't want to leave, but I missed you and Dad too much!" he winked, as Eye in the Dark trotted over, brushing against Ming's leg.

"And...?" I laughed.

"And Eye, of course!" Mingus giggled, picking the chubby black cat up.

I reached down, picking up Mingus' luggage and making our way into the living room, "Your dad missed you like crazy." I dropped the duffel bag onto the couch, unzipping it, preparing myself for a week's worth of laundry.

"I don't think I'm the only one he missed," Mingus looked at me slyly, plopping down onto the armchair with Eye in tow.

"What?" I questioned, genuinely confused, pulling out various pieces of clothing from the bag.

"Dad said you and him had a bit of a tiff, that you hadn't been around much," he shrugged, rubbing down Eye's back and he happily purred.

"Oh, _that_," I sighed, sitting on the couch.

"My dad can't survive without you, Allie," Mingus' eyes met mine, with a wide grin across his face.

"You stop that, young'en!" I scolded. "I've told you a hundred and ten times-"

"All I'm saying is that every time I talked to him that he was really worried about you still being mad at him."

I wanted to smile, my heart fluttered...but I hid it under a scoff and an eye roll, "Whatever you say, Mingo. Whatever you say."

* * *

"I can't find it anywhere!" Norman whined, searching through the bookshelf.

"We'll find it, Norman. Get a grip!" I groaned, flipping through a folder. Sitting on the floor, surrounded by stack and stacks of albums.

"But I really wanted to use it at my next photography exhibit," he said, pulling down another photo album and searching through it, leaned against the door jamb of what was dubbed the "art room."

We had torn the apartment apart looking for some old picture he took years ago. I wasn't quite sure what picture he was talking about, but to keep him calm, I pretended to know.

He flipped through album after album, tossing them aside in a pile. He looked so good when he was frustrated. The way he bit his lips, his shaggy and unruly hair, the tense muscles in his neck...ugh. I had the best worst job in the world.

Norman stopped suddenly on one page of a large green photo book, he got quiet and still.

"You find it?" I said, dropping the album I was looking through onto the floor.

"Nah," he quietly answered.

I got up to stand beside him, his eyes were pensive. I looked over his shoulder. It was a picture from 2005. A picture from the accident. "Oh," I said. I remember that day like it was yesterday. I remember his face and the hurt in his eyes.

"You remember that?" he asked, looking over at me.

"Yes...how could I forget? I had never been more scared," I answered, not realizing I had placed my hand in the crook of his elbow.

"You were there for me," he smiled, "and Mingus. Thank you for flying with him to Berlin, only God knows when I would have gotten to see him if it hadn't been for you."

"Hey, it was no big deal," I said, my eyes unable to leave the picture of the his face. His beautiful face. No amount of stitches or blood or swelling could make this man any less than perfect.

"You missed your exams, you failed your senior year of college...for me," he sighed, looking at me through his lashes.

"I got through it," I said nonchalantly, quickly removing my hand from his arm.

"You have done more for me than anybody, you know?"

I chewed my bottom lip, "You and Ming mean the world to me, Norm. You both are like my family, I don't know why you'd expect any less from me."

Norman closed the book, escaping the face that to this day haunted him in some way, pressing the book to his chest, he turned around to look at me, "Thank you. I know I tell you all the time, but I want you to know I mean it with every fiber of my soul. You're truly the most wonderful woman I know."

Norman freed one arm to reach out and brush a strand of hair from my face. I took in a sharp breath, "I should probably go, it's getting late." I spun on my heel. These past few months had been more emotionally exhausting than the entire decade with him put together.

"Allie," Norman said, catching my bicep in his hand.

My heart raced, I could hear each thud clearly in my ears, I looked over my shoulder at him, "Hmm?" I tried to keep my collected facade.

"I don't want to be alone tonight."


	3. Chapter 3

_A/N__: I was really unsure about writing this, but I'm so glad you all are enjoying it! Thank you so much for the reads and reviews! _

* * *

"Norman, I don't know what you're asking," my voice was quandary and shaking, I wriggled my arm from his grip.

"I just don't want to be alone, what do you think I'm asking?" He cocked one eyebrow at me.

I shook my head, so confused. _He asked you to stay the night with him. _"I'm not sure what you are asking..."

"When did it start getting so weird between you and me, huh?" He stepped in closer to me, folding his arms over that glorious chest.

Placing my palm flat onto the doorway for support, my knees feeling like they could give at any minute. I shrugged, my mind had never been so addled. "I-I...that night, you were drunk and-"

"Did something happen?" he reached out putting his hands onto each of my shoulders.

"You...you came onto me," I sighed, feeling blood rushing to my head, my ears becoming red hot.

"Oh," was all he gave me. He looked a bit amused, which made my heart sink. _Yeah, why would you come onto me? Makes zero sense, I know._

"Just 'oh'? I mean, nothing happened...I left and went home, but," now my knees were really starting to buckle, "I think about what could've happened if-" I couldn't get the words out, I felt like I could hyperventilate at any moment.

He smirked and released my shoulders, "What could've happened, hm?"

_Now or never, Allie. Now or never. _"I should go, Norman," I was a coward. I couldn't tell him anything more, I turned to walk out, down the hallway.

"Alyson, c'mon, tell me what's up with us! You're like...my best friend. I need to know what I can do to fix this," he said, following me into the living room.

I tried to outrun him, grabbing my jacket from the sofa, but he came around me, putting his hands firmly on my shoulders once more. "Tell me," his blue eyes begged. I knotted the fabric of my jacket into my fists. I was about to give up 10 years of my life.

"I love you. God, I love you so much," I bit my lip, feeling tears quickly blurring my vision then streaming down my face. I looked up at him, "You understand? I love you. And for 10 years of my life, I've watched you love women who are not me, that are absolutely nothing like me. It has been a decade of torture, but I endure it every single day because I love you. I love Mingus. I love my job."

"Alyson-" he tried, his hands dropping from me, appraising the pain in my eyes.

"I'm not good enough for you, I get that. I'm no Victoria's Secret model. But that night, you looked me in the eyes with your hands on my face, and for a split second I saw a life...me, you, Mingus...a life that will never be...and I sound so crazy and psychotic, I know, but-" I lost my ability to speak any further as a stifled sob broke from my lips.

"Allie," Norman said, reaching back out for me as I stepped back, my hands up to block him.

I composed myself enough to break free. "I got offered a position at the Metro for curator of the postmodern department, and I think I'm going to take it," looking down, I was unable to meet Norman's eyes.

"You can't do that to Mingus...to me!" Norman yelled. He never yelled.

I winced at his loud voice, my eyes still fixed on the floor. I placed my hands over my tear-soaked face as two arms wrapped around me and I buried my face into his chest. "I love you," I whispered. "I wish I didn't. I wish every fucking day that I didn't."

"Shh," Norman said, his cheek resting atop my head, his hand stroking down my long, black hair.

I breathed him in for what could be one of the last times, "I'm sorry." _What am I apologizing for? Loving him? Threatening to quit? _

Norman's placed his hands on the the sides of my neck, resting his thumbs under my chin, and putting a merely an inch between our faces. Gently grazing from the point of my chin to my each side of my jaw with the pads of his thumbs, "I meant it when I said you're the most wonderful woman I know." Those sleepy blue eyes had rendered me unable to move or speak.

I took in a deep breath like I was about to drown as he put his lips against mine softly.


	4. Chapter 4

My whole body quivered as he pulled his lips away from mine, his hands still gently resting on my neck, his thumbs supporting under my chin. If he wasn't holding onto me, I would've probably floated away. My lips could feel the ghost of his still lingering.

"Al?" he whispered, still so close to me I could feel his breath on my face.

I made some bizarre and embarrassing squeaking noise, opening my eyes to look into his.

He chuckled, running his eyes over my face, "You still with me?"

My lips curling into a big, dumb smile, I nodded, "Um...er...yes, I think so."

"Good," he said, leaning in to kiss me again. This time he parted his lips, taking in my bottom one and biting it just hard enough to give me chills over every inch of my body. His tongue traced across my top lip and that sensation alone could have made me explode right then and there. I let out a light gasp and he took that as an opportunity to dominate my mouth with his tongue. This man could fucking kiss like...I don't think there's a word to describe it. I've watched him kiss in the movies and in real life...it's nothing compared to actually experiencing it. I couldn't resist tangling my fingers into his shaggy hair as the kiss became more lecherous. He moaned into my mouth, running his hands down my side, to the hem of my Bikini Kill tee, his fingertips playing with the bare skin at the waist of my jeans. Panic set in as his fingers ran from my sides to the front of my jeans, toggling with the button.

Breaking the kiss, my hands planted firmly on those amazing biceps, "Norman, I-I..." I sounded like a stuttering child. My overwhelming anxiety took me prisoner. My body was average...stretch marks here, cellulite there. I was nothing like the catalog girls he brought home. _We can't do this. He can't see me naked. Good Lord, he'd run away screaming._

"What is it?" Norman asked breathlessly. I paused, embarrassed and unsure of what to say. He pressed his face into my neck, his goatee tickling my skin, his lips lightly kissing up to my ear lobe, "What is it, babe?" he whispered.

I had no choice but to be honest with him, "I don't want you to see me...I don't want you to see me naked," I finally spat out. I felt my embarrassment surface on my cheeks and neck.

Norman let up, looking at me with the sweetest crooked smile, pressing both palms against my reddened face, "There is nothing wrong with you. Or your body. I like your curves," he admitted, running his hands down from my face, barely over my breasts, grazing my waist, and grabbing onto my hips. "Curves are nice, too."

My legs trembled, "Yeah...but what about cellulite? Fat? Stretch marks?"

Norman let out a small laugh, "You honestly think I expected you be airbrushed to perfection or something? You're real and I like that. I _like_ that. Why are you being so ridiculous?"

"You're the modelizer," I grumbled, rolling my eyes. Leave it up to me to ruin the most erotic, intimate moment of my life with my own awkwardness and self-consciousness.

Norman's smile vanished and turned into an angry scowl, he gripped harshly under my chin, "I've always found you beautiful."

_Always found me beautiful? _My heart soared, but of course my bully brain had to chime in, _he's just itching to get laid. _"Alright," I said, giving in, my chin still cupped in his hand. Before my mind could tyrannize me any further, I reached for the bottom of my black shirt, pulling it over my head as Norman released my chin. _Thank the sex gods I wore a nice bra today. _I dropped the tee shirt on the floor. My heart sped up, I felt like it was going to beat through my chest as his eyes took in the sight.

"Very nice," Norman admired my gray bra with the turquoise lace trim, his hands snaking behind me to the small of my back. "You're amazing, babe," he said, pulling me in close. I pressed my ear against his chest, hearing his heart beat, it soothed me in some weird way.

My mouth was dry from nervousness. I cleared my throat, "If we do..._this_...it will change everything between us."

"Good," Norman quietly replied, putting space between us and trailing his hands down my arms to intertwine our fingers. "C'mon," he smirked, looking so naughty and sexy that it made my spine tingle. He pulled my by the hands down to his bedroom. I always loved his bedroom, it was simple and neat. All white walls and carpet with large windows, his king size platform bed decked in light blue and navy Egyptian cotton. A classy, nickel-finished chandelier hung above the bed.

I sat at the foot of the bed, still in my bra and jeans. Norman stood in front of me, removing his Minor Threat shirt and tossing it aside. His shoulders, his collar bones, his chest...all perfect. My stomach knotted up as he leaned over, pushing me down gently by my shoulders into the mattress, his mouth covering every inch of my neck with hot, sucking kisses. My nails lightly raking over his toned back, I let out small gasps and moans. My panties were soaked. My body is at a point to where I could care less if he thought I was beautiful or fat, I just needed him inside me. I reached down between us, my hands finding Norman's belt buckle.

"Impatient, babe?" he growled into my ear, nipping my lobe between his teeth.

My frustration and want gave me a certain courageousness, "You don't know how long I've wanted this, how many times I've fantasized about this," I sighed feeling his erection jump against my leg.

Pausing his assault on my neck and ears, "Is that so?" Norman was a sucker for flattery. His large hand ran underneath my bra.

"Yes, God, yes," I confessed, still trying to get into his pants, a hard task when a gorgeous man was distracting you.

"Like what? Tell me..." his voice was childish and giddy, his hand running across my nipple made my stomach knot even more.

"Um..." I giggled, feeling my shyness and embarrassment return, but he was enjoying it. The bulge growing in his jeans told me so. "I did have this one fantasy," I bit my lip trying not to giggle again.

"Go on," he playfully whispered into my ear, his fingertips grazing from the valley of my breasts to my navel.

"I walk in on you in the shower, and I apologize for intruding and stuff...but instead of shooing me out, you beg me to join you, and uh...we...well, you know." I put my hands over my face, much to my chagrin.

"No, I don't know," he coyly grinned, leaning over my chest, kissing the skin that was peaking out from my bra.

Uncovering my face, I sucked it up, so sick of the delicious torture he was placing on my body, "You fuck me hard, torridly, against the glass stall. You make me scream so loud that the neighbors can hear-"

"We'll have to try that sometime, soon," he promised, kissing down my stomach. He stopped at the hem of my jeans, he hovered over me, popping the button open with one hand. "You ready, babe?"


	5. Chapter 5

_A/N: Sorry it took a minute to update! Also, sorry I'm such a tease! Get used to it ;) Thanks for all the reviews, my sweet readers!_

* * *

"Alyson...it's Norman...again. Um, call me?" _Beep_.

"Allie...seriously, what the fuck is up? I miss you. Call me." _Beep_.

"If it's about the other night, for God's sake, just call me and let's talk about it, okay?" _Beep_.

"Allie?" My heart ached hearing the voice. "It's Mingus. I hope you'll pick me up from school today since Dad can't. I miss you." _Beep_.

"You have no new messages."

Dropping my cell phone onto the floor beside me, I laid in bed and it was nearly noon. I hadn't moved all day. Or yesterday. Or the day before. I told Norman I was sick...he knew it was a lie. I had to lie, after the way I ran out on him four nights ago. I couldn't do it. The man was on top of me, taking his jeans off and all I think of was how it would fuck things up between us. I couldn't do that. What would happen? I had to think of Mingus.  
Norman had barely shown any romantic interest in me, then suddenly he's single a little while and he tries to have sex with me? It just didn't sit right with me. I wanted to, I wanted to so, so bad, but I couldn't. I loved Norman. I trusted Norman. But I knew Norman. Norman who never had a relationship longer than 4 years. I was there through Helena, Jarah, and all the others whose names I don't care to recall. My attraction to Norman was immediate, from the first time I met him, but it was only a superficial attraction. When he and Helena separated and I decided to stay fulltime with Norman...I got to know him. I watched him in action as a father, a friend, an actor, an artist, and just as normal person. I fell in love. Hard.

I didn't know how he felt about me. Sure, he told me he thought I was beautiful, but what else? I'm wonderful? These are all broad terms. He's just lonely. If we had sex, I would immediately go into girlfriend mode and maybe that wasn't his approach at all. I've never been a FWB before, and I don't think I could be Norman Mark Reedus' FWB...especially considering my relationship with Mingus. It'd be too weird. And what if Norman found someone else? Then what?

Dear God, I over analyze.

I looked at the clock on my bedside table, 2:14 already. I made myself get out of bed and get dressed. Trying not to look as bad as I felt, I actually applied a little bit of makeup and combed through my unruly raven waves.

* * *

"Mingo!" I called out, leaned against my Jeep with my aviators on, parked outside of the red brick school that stood out in the Upper Eastside.

"Allie!" he yelled back, walking fast towards me, his backpack in tow.

I outstretched my arms, wrapping my favorite blonde in them, "How was your day, kiddo?"

"Great! Dad is going to be psyched! I made a 98 on my algebra test!" he leaned back from the hug, smiling.

I held up my hand for a high five, "Awesome!"

Giving me a high five and adjusting his backpack straps, he looked up at me through his blonde lashes, "I was worried you might not come back."

"What? I was sick, kid," I said, ruffling his hair.

"I'm not stupid, Allie. Something happened. You and Dad have been acting super weird," he said. _Too smart for your own good, kid. _

"Eh...don't worry about, Ming. We're over it, it was just a stupid disagreement," I lied, giving him a reassuring smile. I put my arm around him, "Let's go home and get started on that homework,"walking with him to the passenger's side of my car.

Opening the car door, he looked back at me, "I'm glad you and Dad worked it out. He was going nuts without you."

I let out a heavy, guilty sigh, slamming the door shut behind him.

* * *

Walking into the untidier-than-usual apartment, my heart rate immediately increased. I felt like I was walking into a stranger's house. These are exactly the types of feelings I was trying to avoid in the first place.

Mingus headed straight for the kitchen, getting an orange soda from the fridge. I walked stiffly over to the the counter, pulling up a bar stool as Eye purred at my feet.

"Hey, fat cat," I said, picking the ball of black fluff up, gently stroking his nose.

"I'm gonna get started on my English paper. I think I'll do my homework on the terrace today," Mingus shrugged, chugging down the soda with a few gulps.

"It's a nice day for it, I'll be out there in a minute," I smiled, still giving Eye in the Dark some love.

Mingus made his way out onto the terrace, sliding the glass door behind him. I sat alone in the kitchen, aside from Eye, and nervously chewed my bottom lip, trying to think of an excuse to leave before Norman got home. Mingus would see right through me though if I asked him to go hang out at Cody's downstairs.

I let out a breath of air, frustrated, as Eye began to nod off in my arms.

"Looks like someone missed you."

My heart began thumping wildly again, as I craned my neck to see Norman walking down the hallway. Just in his boxers and bathrobe. _God help me.  
_I started going over a thousand different things to say in my head as Norman made his way into the kitchen, starting coffee in his Francis Francis.

"I missed him, too," I said, pulling Eye closer to me. "And Mingus." I took a deep breath. "And you."

Norman nodded, without a word, pouring himself a cup of coffee and taking a sip.

I cleared my throat, "Late night?" I tried not to sound too desperate.

"You could say that," he shrugged, leaning against the counter, sipping the hot coffee carefully.

My stomach hurt. _Probably out with some model all night._

"Stayed up pretty late, I guess. Just putting the finishing touches on a personal project," he said.

"Oh?" Secret relief.

"Interested in seeing it?" he smiled from behind his mug.

"Of course. You know I am always interested in your work," I was completely sincere. Norman was a genius on so many levels.

He motioned his head to the art room, putting his mug down as I hopped off the bar stool, putting Eye down much to his dismay. I followed Norman through the narrow doorway where a large canvas was draped over.

"You do the honors," he said, holding his hands out to the mystery art piece.

"Okay," I obliged with a lot of uncertainty in my voice. My hand reached out for the yellow fabric, pulling it away from the 3'X5' canvas. I dropped the cover-up in the floor, placing my hands over my mouth. My vision becoming misty.

It was me, Norman, Mingus, and Eye. A collage. Ten years worth of pictures, a lot of them I had no idea even existed. Me and a 4 year old Mingus asleep in the living room floor, curled up happily together with _Green Eggs and Ham_ in hand. Me holding Eye the day Norman brought him home. Norman and I on his birthday two years ago. A picture of me trying to hide my face after Norman, Mingus, and I got into a food fight. Me asleep in a hammock on Manhattan beach. There were at least 75 pictures combined. So many memories. So much happiness.

"Norm...it's lovely," I said, wiping a few tears from eyes.

He stood behind me, placing a hand on my shoulder, "Some of my happiest times have been spent with you by my side...I just thought you should know that. You told me you had a glimpse of a life with me and Mingus...and this is it. This is _our_ life."

"What are you saying?" I said, turning to face him.

"I'm saying I want to give this a real shot, Allie," he said, placing his hands softly along both sides of my face. "Okay?"


	6. Chapter 6

"Well, what's going on here?" Mingus' voice broke the momentary silence, as Norman dropped his hands from my face.

"Ming," Norman blushed, looking past me at his son.

"I knew it!" Mingus beamed, "I knew you guys had a thing going on!"

"Kiddo, not so fast-" I started, as Norman nudged my shoulder.

"Mingus," Norman began, stepping past me over to him, draping an arm over his shoulder. "I just asked her on a date. Nothing is going on, not yet," Norman looked back at me and smiled. "Isn't that right, Al?"

I nervously smiled and nodded, "Yeah."

Mingus looked a bit disappointed, "Alright," he shrugged.

Norman patted the boy's shoulder, looking back over at me, "Friday night? Say around 7?"

* * *

"This is too much," I sighed, as Norman pulled my chair out for me.

"You wanted private," he smiled.

"Yes, I did, but this..." I looked around me.

On the rooftop bar of one of NYC's finest restaurants. Just the two of us. Surrounded by twinkling city lights and candlelight. White table cloths. A bottle of Perignon.

Norman took his seat across from me, looking sexy in a grey-blue button up, black tie, and black slacks. His ever-present Ray Bans resting atop his shaggy, messy brown hair. Propping his elbows on the table and resting his chin on his hands, "You look incredible in that dress, Al."

I rolled my eyes, "Yeah, yeah. It was just something I had laying around." I looked into my lap, brushing over the skirt of my short, black lace ensemble that was very reminiscent of a 20's flapper dress. I nervously put my hands on the table, fidgeting with the linen napkin on my plate.

He reached across the table, stopping my nervous motions with his touch, holding my hand in his, "You. Look. Incredible." His eyes were stern. "Understand?"

I smiled, my throat becoming dry at his touch. His soft fingers fit between my own, caressing over the top of my knuckle with the pad of his thumb. "I understand, Norm."

"Good," he took my hand, pulling it up to his lips and kissing it.

_Butterflies, butterflies everywhere in my stomach._ No man had ever had this kind of power of me. "Just...why me?" I searched his eyes as his grip tightened on my hand.

"I trust you more than anyone else, Allie. Mingus adores you. You're funny, you're so damn smart, you're an artist, you are so chill and laid back..." he trailed off.

"That's all?" _Shut up, you sound like you're fishing for compliments. _"I-I mean, you're describing me like I'm a friend - which I am, but -"

"Alyson," he cut me short. "I've spent ten years with you. I've seen you in every mood, I've seen you sick, I've seen you hurt, I've seen you...I've _seen_ you. You're gorgeous, _all_ of the time. I never wanted to cross any boundaries with you, that's why I've never insinuated anything. But, I've always noticed you, appreciated you. Watching you with Mingus, gah, it just...lights up my world, you know? And you're so sweet, so incredibly sweet..." he chuckled, shaking his head, "I've always wondered what it would be like to more than just your friend. I'm just as scared and worried as you are about venturing into this whole new level of intimacy, but I'm excited. It just feels right to me, you know?"

My cheeks flushed to my ears, I grinned, looking down at our hands tangled together on the table, "I know exactly what you mean."

* * *

"W-where's Mingus?" I muttered breathlessly, trying to wiggle out of my wool peacoat.

Norman removed his lips from my throat, "Spending the night with a friend." His hands were firm on my waist, his mouth traveled back to the erogenous spot between my neck and collarbone.

The elevator dinged as we arrived to Norman's floor. Between my gasps and erratic breaths, I managed, "Are we going to put this elevator out of commission tonight or what?"

"I don't hate the idea..." Norman said, pulling his mouth away from my neck and smirking, the steel doors sliding apart behind him.

"Norman," I playfully scolded, shimmying my coat from my shoulders as he released me long enough to step out into the hallway.

Unlocking the door to his apartment, he nearly pulled my arm out of socket hurrying me inside. The next thing I know, my ass is resting on the back of the couch as Norman's hands reach around, fishing for the zipper of my dress. Panic surges through me again. _Brain, I don't have time for your shit, _I tell myself as feel the skin on my back becoming exposed as he slides the zipper slowly to its stop.

As if my body wasn't on fire enough, he leaned into my ear, whispering breathy enough to tickle, "I want you, Al."

Tonight was the point of no return as I reached down, hooking the forefinger of my left hand in his belt loop and my right hand fumbling with his belt buckle, "I want you more."


	7. Chapter 7

"Here, let me help you out," Norman undid his belt buckle and the button of his pants.

Dropping my hands from his waist, I felt my pulse pick up into overdrive as he ran his hands up my outer thighs, under my dress, hooking his fingers into the sides of my panties. My whole body shook as he stepped in closer, in between my legs.

"You nervous?" he gently asked in my ear.

"Um. You could say that," I couldn't lie to him. Not with the way my body was vibrating. I felt like I could flip over the sofa at any moment.

"I gotta admit...it really turns me on," he gave me a sheepish grin, "you being nervous and all."

I raked my teeth over my top lip, holding back a girlish giggle, "Oh?"

His hands still under my dress, he reached around, cupping my ass into his hands, pushing against me, "Can't tell?"

He was referring to the erection that was pressing hard into my pubic bone, I couldn't even think straight enough to formulate a sexy response, "Uh, I can tell..." _Allie, you are going to bore this man to death if you don't step your game up._ I swallowed hard, my trembling hand reaching between us, dipping into the waistband of his boxers. When my grip found what it was looking for, I could've fainted. I'll be honest with you, I've only been with 3 men in my 29 years. And Norman blew all 3 of them out of the water. He must've seen my eyes widen as my fingers wrapped around his hard on because he half chuckled. I ran my hand up and down the length, gulping down my fear and nervousness, shaming it to the pit of my stomach. There was no trace of laughter left in Norman's eyes as his fingertips began digging into my rear.

"Fuck, Allie," he hissed, his hips rocking just slightly. His right hand traveled from my ass back around to my thigh, where he lightly caressed, before moving his fingertips to the inside of my leg, running his thumb over the saturated fabric of my panties.

A small moan escaped my lips as his thumb traced over my nub through the thin material.

"You're so wet," Norman murmured, sliding his forefinger inside the leg of my panties.

I shuddered, still continuing my handy work on him (no pun intended). His finger trailed from the top of my slit down to my opening where he slowly pushed inside of me. "Norman," I gasped.

"Wet _and_ tight," he smiled against my ear, his middle finger joining his first inside of me.

My body was ignited, I even paused my strokes on his length to appreciate the divine feeling of his magic fingers. "Oh, God...Norman..."

"I love hearing you moan my name," he confessed, working his fingers faster and deeper, his breath hot against my skin.

I had to remove my hands from inside his boxers, afraid I was going to collapse backwards over the sofa, I threw my arms around his shoulders for leverage. I buried my face into the scruffy crook of his neck, panting hard against his skin. My insides tightened, on the verge of coming undone.

"Come for me, babe," he said, his tongue running over my collarbone, skimming the hollow of my throat.

And with that I lost it. My walls came down as Norman reached around my waist with his free arm, holding me in position on the back of the couch. My nails raked over the fabric of his shirt, my fingers finding his tie and using it to pull his mouth to mine. I was a demon unchained now. I kissed him hard, my tongue overtaking his; my hands floundering over the buttons of his shirt, desperate to strip him down. When he attempted to pull away from the wanton kiss, I grabbed the back his neck with my dominant hand, continuing my torrid assault on his mouth as the fingers of my other hands worked away the buttons.

Finally, I let him up for air. "Jesus, Allie. I didn't know you could be so...domineering."

My confidence faltered for a moment, afraid I had ruined the mood with my ardor.

His lips curved up into a smile, his hands still around me, rubbing the exposed skin of my back. He looked so sexy with his shirt fully unbuttoned, tie still in place. "I thought I liked you being nervous, but fuck, you're sexy as hell when you take control."

I slid my ass off the back of the sofa, standing and pressing my body against his, "Then take me to your bedroom and fuck me."

Grabbing my hand and pulling it up to his mouth and planting on it a kiss, "As you wish, my love." With that, he grabbed me by the elbow, leading me down the hallway, losing his pants and my dress in the process.


	8. Chapter 8

The bedroom was dimly lit with the glow of the Manhattan lights from outside.

Still in my black strapless bra and matching panties, I walked to the window to close the curtains.

"Hey, stand right there, just like that," Norman said from behind me.

"What?" I questioned, freezing into place.

"Just stand right there," he commanded. I heard shuffling and drawers opening, finally I heard _click click click. _

Turning around to face him from across the room, I saw he had his Canon in hand. "Norman! Don't take pictures of me!" I squealed, covering my naked middle with my hands. I couldn't help but adore how silly he looked standing there in his boxers with his camera in tow.

"Why? You look so beautiful...the city lights glistening off your skin, that bra, those panties...mmm, this I something I want to remember forever," he said, clicking the button several more times as I secretly blushed in the dim room. "Slip the bra off, babe."

"Norman..." I reproved, backing up against the glass of the window.

"Please?" he asked sweetly.

I rolled my eyes, reaching around to undo the clasps. The back came undone as I held the cups against me, still uncertain how I felt about being photographed.

"Allie, c'mon," he coaxed, holding the camera up to his eye.

I let out a heavy sigh, removing my hands and letting the bra drop to floor, fighting the urge to cover my breasts with folded arms.

"Damn, babe," he said, taking a few shots before finally setting the camera down on the dresser and walking over to me.

"Those pictures are for your eyes only," I warned as he slipped his arms around my waist, pulling our bodies together.

"Oh, I know...you're for my eyes only, all of you," he said, his hands running up from the small of my back, reaching up, his fingers weaving through my long hair. He gave my hair a gentle tug, craning my neck back, as he began kissing me from my chin to my collarbone. Stopping for just a moment then leaning down, he proceeded to kiss down my chest, between my breasts. "Your body is...delectable," he said, standing back up straight, "I don't understand why you thought I wouldn't absolutely love it."

"Because it's different than what you're used to..." I reminded him of his modelizing ways.

"Different is good," he smiled, taking each of my breasts into each of his hands, "Different is better, actually," he confessed, flicking over both my nipples with both of his thumbs. His face nuzzled against my cheek, his breath gliding over my ear.

Resting my hands against his chest, I trailed them upward to those remarkable shoulders of his, then down his fine, toned arms, "You're not too bad yourself," I joked.

"Oh, really?" he asked with a little growl in his voice, dropping his hands from my breasts, and wrapping his arms tightly around me. He lifted me from the floor, spinning and then finally tossing me onto the bed.

"Norman!" I giggled, propping up on my elbows, a little dizzy from the jostling he just gave me.

Norman did not speak, from what I could make out of his face, it was now serious. He climbed on top of me, immediately catching my lips with his own. My fingers found their way into that lovely, moppy mess of brown hair as his fingers pulled at the lace waistband of my underwear. I lifted my hips enough for him to slide the black material down my legs, no longer worried or afraid. I was ready for him. His mouth never left mine as I returned the favor, slipping his boxers down far enough for him to kick them off.

I parted my thighs for him to rest comfortably in between them, my feet lightly brushing over his calves.

Norman's blue eyes pierced into mine, even through the near-dark of the bedroom. We didn't speak, we didn't need to. He slid his head, dripping with precum, over my clit and down my seam. I bit my lip hard as he slowly pushed inside of me. He was definitely bigger than any man I had ever experienced. The pleasure had just a hint of pain as I adjusted to his beyond satisfying size.

"You okay, Al?" he huskily whispered, his hand wiping my fringed bangs from my forehead.

"Never better," I answered in an equal whisper, reeling my hips to let him know I was ready for him to take over my body.

He began moving on top of me, first slowly, his hands pressed into the mattress alongside my head. I held onto his biceps, my nails lightly digging into his flesh as his thrusts became harder and harder.

"Oh, fuck...Norman," I moaned, as he leaned down against my body, not stopping or slowing.

My mouth explored every inch of his neck, my lips wandered to his ear lobe where I nibbled.

"Mmm, babe," he groaned. His cock jerked inside of me. The man had an ear fetish, I would have never of guessed it.

My tongue danced over the lobe, before catching it again with my teeth, pulling it in and sucking on it. He slammed in and out of me, his thrusts becoming more punishing.

"Stop," he snarled, "or I'm going to fuck you in half." He reached under my back, raising me off of the bed, his hips still rocking hard against my thighs, before flipping onto his back, bringing me on top. "I want a better view of those gorgeous tits," he said, his hands instantly finding them.

I leaned over so his face cradled in the valley of my breasts, his lips caressing over my nipples. Balancing myself on my knees, I began to slide up and down his length, my breasts brushing against his face, his facial hair scrubbing my chest. "I love you, Norman," I panted, "you don't have to love me back, but I'm...I'm yours...you can have me, whenever you want me," I confessed breathlessly, feeling my orgasm build up beneath my navel.

Norman's hands moved to my hips that were vacillating erratically, desperate to find that sweet release. "Kiss me, Alyson," he commanded, raising his head from the bed to meet my lips halfway. His kiss was heated, as if he couldn't kiss me deep enough. Pulling away from me, he reached between our sexes, his finger playfully strumming my nub, his icy eyes were now fiery. "I want you, like this, every single night. I want these sheets to smell like you, I want to wake up beside you," his hips began bucking madly beneath me. I braced my palms on his chest, the tightening in my walls becoming more intense. "God, Allie," he moaned, his neck muscles beginning to strain.

"Norman," I grit my teeth, my nails digging into his broad chest.

"Come, babe. Come all over me," he muttered, his finger rubbing my clit sore.

"You," I slid down his throbbing cock as far as my tight walls would allow, "first," I raised back up, then roughly lowering myself once more.

"Fucking a!" Norman hissed, losing himself inside me. The twitching of his orgasm sent me to my breaking point, my nails clawing down his chest.

I collapsed beside him on the bed, resting my cheek against his pounding heart. He wrapped his arm around me, his breathing was still heavy. Our bodies were covered in each others sweat. I kissed over his Norman tattoo, then tracing over it with my fingertip.

"I don't know if you caught the gist of what I was saying," he said, reaching for my hand, entwining our fingers together, "but, I love you, too. I always have...just in a very different way now."

I felt like I was high, never wanting to come down.


	9. Chapter 9

I woke up early, very early. Norman was still sound asleep, buried face first into his pillow. I rested my head on his shoulder blade, wrapping my arm over him. It felt so surreal, laying there naked and quiet with the man who had owned my heart for so long.

I couldn't sleep, my mind was too excited. I got up, grabbing my panties from the floor, stepping over to his dresser and pulling out his old faithful Minor Threat shirt and slipping it on. I tiptoed down the hallway, nearly tripping over Eye, and making my way down into the kitchen.

* * *

"Smells good in here, babe," a sleepy voice muttered into my ear.

I was standing at the stove, stirring a pot of gravy, "Morning, Norm," I said, smiling from ear to ear.

"What the heck is that?" he said, dipping a finger into the pot and quickly jerking it away. "Damn, that's hot!"

I burst out laughing, "No shit, Sherlock! It's my mama's breakfast gravy recipe." I put the spoon down turning around to meet his face. He was in his boxers, his hair a matted morning mess. I pulled his fingertip to my lips and kissed it softly, "That better?"

"Tons," he smiled, leaning into me and kissing me sweetly. "I wake up to a beautiful woman cooking me breakfast, I think I could get used to this," he smirked, wrapping his arms around my shoulders.

"Never had a woman cook for you?" I cocked my head in disbelief.

"New York girls and models don't cook, they order out. Glad I found myself," he cleared his throat, turning on his Daryl Dixon accent, "a real Southern belle."

"You can't use that voice with me, Norman..." I warned with a grin on my face.

Continuing the Daryl accent, "Why's that? It do somethin' for ya?"

"Mayyybe," I sheepishly grinned.

"I'll have to keep that in mind then," he kissed my forehead as I turned around to finish cooking breakfast.

My face literally hurt from smiling so much, never had I been more happy in my entire life.

* * *

"So, she's your girlfriend?" Mingus' hopeful blue eyes were wide.

"That's what I'm saying," Norman said reaching across the table and grabbing my hand.

We sat out on the terrace, enjoying some mid-afternoon Starbucks. The Manhattan air was warmer than usual. It was a beautiful day.

"How long has this been going on?" Mingus, always curious.

"Honestly," I spoke up, leaning up in my seat, "about six months. We just wanted to develop a foundation before we told you."

"So I guess that date went real well, huh?" he asked, smiling.

My cheeks flushed, remembering that night as I looked up at Norman through my lashes.

"Best date of my life," Norman grinned, his eyes saying he too remembered that night all to well. Those nights had turned into many similar ones.

"Well, why don't you just live here then? You practically do already," Mingus shrugged, taking a drink from his mug, looking at me with a smile in his eyes.

"I uh...I..." I didn't know how to respond.

"Son, I think that's a wonderful idea," Norman gave me one his rare teeth-showing-smiles.

"You do, huh?" I chuckled.

Norman and Mingus looked at each other and nodded in agreement.

* * *

"Hey, beautiful," Norman greeted me from the doorway of his bedroom..._our_ bedroom.

I sat in the floor, feeling a bit helpless, surrounded by my pile of clothes I was sorting through. I was swimming in a sea of cardboard boxes. "I called June today, she was real happy for me. Even let me have my deposit on my flat back," I said, holding up a sheer green button up shirt, then discarding it into the 'donations' pile.

"Good deal," he said, joining me in the floor. He looked incredible, as he always did, in a plain black t-shirt and jeans. He picked up a thong out of the pile of clothes, "Hey, I never see you wear stuff like this," he winked.

"I don't feel comfortable in stuff like that, Norman," I shrugged.

"How many times do I have to say you're beautiful? Your body is beautiful. Every single last inch of you," he said, reaching behind my head to pull my face close to his.

"I know, I know," I sighed. There was no arguing with this man. I placed my hands on his scruffy face, kissing his lips. "You're the beautiful one," I whispered.

He ran his hands down my back, finding the hem of my gray camisole, "How about we make that shower fantasy a reality tonight? Mingus won't be back for a couple of hours," he asked, giving the shirt a tug over my head.

I giggled, a little embarrassed as my shirt came off, "You remember that?"

"Well, you put the idea in my head, and I found _myself_ fantasizing about it..." he kissed my shoulder, wrapping his arms around my bare waist.

I could die. Even after six months together. Every moment, everything felt like the first ever with him.

My back pressed against the glass shower stall, my fingers tangled in Norman's sopping wet messy hair. And I thought he was hot when he was dry...but the water beads running down his chest, his arms...oh, God, his arms.

"Your wet hair is really sexy," he mumbled in my ear, his hands running all over my backside.

"Shush," I laughed. "Your everything is really sexy, wet or dry."

"You shush," he growled, as he assaulted my mouth hotly with his tongue. His hands reached around to my breasts, his wet hands gently sliding over them.

I moaned into the kiss, the feeling of his soaking wet, warm body pinning mine against the cold glass was torture.

Norman freed one hand and reached behind my knee, hitching my leg up to his waist. He pulled his mouth away long enough to remind me again of my fantasy. "Gonna make you scream so loud the neighbor's will hear," he teased.

"Norman," I started to scold him, only to quickly shut up as he slammed home. My fingernails automatically found his back as he let out a deep hiss into my ear. I held onto him as my only leverage, hoping I wouldn't lose myself right there.

"Fuck, Allie," he groaned, his hips rocking harder and harder.

My back grew sore, continually banging against the stall, but it didn't matter. I wanted him to never stop. He grabbed my hips and looked me in the eyes, biting his bottom lip as he slid in and out of my folds more punishingly. His head was hitting the exact spot to make me let out a scream.

"Scream again," he said, pounding into me harder, slipping his fingers between us, gliding his thumb over my engorged clit. His eyes were hard, his wet hair sticking to the sides of his face.

"Oh my fucking God!"

A smile stretched across his face, he breathlessly chuckled, whispering in a low rasp, "Jesus, the neighbors might call the cops, babe."


	10. Chapter 10

Norman was in Georgia filming. Mingus and I were left to our own devices until our flight to Georgia at the end of the week so we could celebrate his birthday with his dad, which was also 11 month anniversary. Almost a year. But that would go unnoticed because one thing Norman and I agreed on, Mingus was always to be put first.

"So, kiddo, Chinese or burgers tonight?" I asked, standing in the doorway of his bedroom.

"I dunno, what do you feel like?" he said, spinning around in his computer chair, taking a break from his homework.

"I'm not really feeling anything tonight, but I still have to feed you," I smirked. "Just too tired to cook."

"What's wrong?"

"Maybe a cold or something, I'm alright," I smiled. "C'mon and get your hoodie, take a break from that essay."

Turning to walk out of the room, my stomach started churning again. I hadn't felt good for days. I was trying to suck it up so that Norman wouldn't worry too much while he was away and I didn't want him to make me stay in NY instead of flying out on Friday.

* * *

"Beautiful, I missed you so much!" Norman said, picking me up off my feet. He was hiding behind his hat and Ray Bans at the Atlanta airport.

"I missed you, babe!" I wrapped my arms tight around him as my feet touched the ground again.

He let me go, turning his attention to Mingus, "You been taking care of her for me, right?" He shuffled the boy's blonde locks.

"Actually I have! Allie hasn't felt well," Mingus told on me, throwing his duffel bag over his shoulder.

"Traitor," I mouthed at him.

"What? What's wrong?" Norman's face was serious with concern as he took my carry-on from me, using his free hand to brush my bangs from my face.

"Nothing. Probably just a bug, I'm sure," I smiled. "I'm a big girl, don't worry."

"Well, let's get you two to the house, I'm sure you guys are tired," Norman said, checking his watch. Midnight flights were always the worst. "I don't have to film tomorrow so we'll have the whole day together, the three of us," he threw his free arm around me.

"Couldn't ask for a better way to spend my day," I beamed, placing my hand on Mingus' shoulder.

"Well, let's get out of here before the fangirls spot us," Mingus joked, helping his dad haul my luggage.

* * *

It felt wonderful to have his body next to mine again. The quiet little house in Georgia that he rented was my favorite, more so than the Manhattan apartment or the beach house in Florida. It was peaceful and relaxed. I loved hearing the owls and crickets outside the bedroom window at night.

"You asleep, baby?" he whispered in the moonlight.

Running my hands over the white sheets, I searched for his hand, "No, Norm...I'm awake," I murmured, tangling my fingers with his.

"You feel up to a lil' lovin' tonight?" he playfully asked, sliding in closer to me.

"You know I can't say no to you," I said, grinning in the dark, wrapping my arm around his neck as he put his lips on mine. Truth was, I was exhausted and still felt horrible...but I had missed him, his touch, his kisses.

"I missed you and Mingus so much, you have no idea. I'm so glad you flew down here with him, I would've gone crazy being away from you guys for one more day," he said in between the kisses he was placing on my neck, moving to hover his body over mine.

My mouth searched for his as his hands explored under my t-shirt. He squeezed and rubbed over my nipples with his palms.

"Ow!"

"What? Babe, what's wrong?" he said, leaning up and away from me, immediately removing his hands from my erect nodules.

"My boobs are super sore," I groan. "Must be about time for Aunt Flo to visit."

"Tell Aunt Flo you're too busy for her shit," he laughed, leaning back down to kiss me gently. "Just get some sleep, baby. We'll pick up where we left off tomorrow."

He slid off from on top of me, nestled in against my side closely, wrapping his arms around my waist...moments later he was snoring.

"Norman, I love you," I said to the sleeping body next to me, I rested my head on his chest. "I really do."

* * *

"Allie?" Norman called from the stairway. He must have just got up. I had traveled downstairs not wanting to wake him with my retching.

"In here," I mumbled, sitting on the bathroom floor, resting my head on my forearms propped on the toilet lid.

His footsteps approached down the stairs, down the hallway, "Babe?"

"In here," I said a little louder. My head was spinning. I had been throwing up all morning.

"Hey!" He rushed into the bathroom, kneeling down on the cold tile floor to me, "Babe, I'm taking you to the doctor, something isn't right," he put both of his hands to my face. "You never get sick like this."

"Norm, I'm fine," I said. I sure didn't feel fine but I didn't want him to worry. He had to start filming again tomorrow.

"I'm going to see if Mingus can hang out with Chandler today, I'm taking you to the ER. No arguing," his eyes were stern. He helped me up to my feet, I felt like I could give out at any moment. He walked with me to the living room, sitting me down on the couch. "I'm gonna run upstairs, get Mingus up, make a phone call. You rest right here, don't move," he said, kissing my forehead.

"Okay," he was right, there was no arguing with him when he got worked up like this.

* * *

"I'm freezing," I said to Norman. I was trembling on the hospital bed, in just a hospital gown and sheet.

Norman was agitated, we had been waiting for over an hour and all they had done was take my vital signs and draw blood. He told them 20 minutes ago to bring me a blanket. His leg was shaking as he playing with the drawstrings of his North Face hoodie. Finally, he rose from his seat beside my bed, stepping out into the hallway, "Can I get her some warm blankets or something? For crying out loud!" I watched him from my bed, he paced the doorway, his hands shoved into his back pockets of his black Levi's as he irritatedly chewed his lip. He was so cute when he was mad.

"Here you are, sir," a short, round nurse in green scrubs handed him two white blankets.

"Finally! Thank you," he said, turning on his heel, walking back over to me. "Here, babe," he said, throwing the blanket up so it fanned over me.

"Thank you, love," I said, closing my eyes. Vertigo was kicking in. I felt like I was going to puke again.

"What did you eat yesterday?" he said, taking his seat at my bedside, his chair making an awful screech as he slid it up closer to my side.

"Nothing," I tried to remember. "I'm sure I didn't eat. Didn't feel like it."

"Babe! You need to eat!"

I opened my eyes to look at him, "Norm-"

"Missus Reedus?" a voice asked from the doorway. The doctor. _ Melvin Brown_, his name tag red.

"Oh, no, we're not marr-" I started before Norman cut me off.

"Yes, that's her," Norman winked at me and my heart took flight even as bad as I felt.

The older gentleman who could've passed for Larry David's twin, held his clipboard closely to his face, looking over his bifocals, "Well, I think we found the source of your problem, Mrs. Reedus," he said, lowering the clipboard and smiling.

"Well?" Norman asked, practically on the edge of his seat.

"Looks like you two are going to be parents. Congratulations."

"What the hell?!" Norman turned to look at me, his eyes wide and mouth agape.


	11. Chapter 11

"I know, this must be really weird for you," I said, accepting the yellow gift bag from her hand.

"No, actually, I was relieved. Surprised, yes. But, Mingus adores you and Norman seems very happy," Helena smiled, taking a seat across from me at the tea shop. "It was good news to hear." Her smile was completely sincere.

It was weird for me. This woman, the mother of Norman's first and (for now) only child, was once my boss too. I admired Helena on so many levels, always had. And honestly, I had envied her as well.

Opening the bag, there was a beautiful angora white blanket trimmed in green, "Oh, Helena, it's lovely!" I said, running my fingers over the soft, white material.

"I'm glad you like it. How far along are you?" she said, taking a sip of her tea.

"Thirteen weeks," I said, rubbing over the small bump on my abdomen.

"Oh, so you'll be finding out soon! How exciting!"

"Norman's about to burst at the seams to find out," I laughed, putting the blanket back into the bag. "We've only had one ultrasound...the day we found out. He's dying to see that little peanut again."

"He's a wonderful father, Allie. I know you know, but he truly is," she sat her tea cup down. "Even though things didn't work out between us, I wouldn't have anyone else be a father for my son."

I smiled and nodded, "He's been incredible, totally supportive."

"I have to know, how did he take the news?" she sat up straight, resting her elbows on the table, her face a little amused.

"Oh, he was completely shocked. I have been on the pill for years, so I think we both were. He said, 'What the hell?!' and I thought he was upset, but two seconds later he was climbing into the hospital bed with me, covering me with kisses and telling me how happy he was. He was like a kid on Christmas morning," I chuckled.

"That's Norman," Helena laughed.

* * *

Norman crawled up into the bed beside me, placing his hand gently on my stomach, "How's my little jellybean?"

"Jellybean? I thought it was peanut. I giggled, putting my sketchpad down.

"Yes, _my_ wittle Jellybean, _your_ peanut," he grinned. "What's this?" he asked, reaching for the sketchpad.

"Just some ideas for the baby's room," I shrugged. "I know it's kinda early, but we found out next week and I don't want to do things at the last minute."

"It's not early at all, I'm excited," he said running his eyes over the sketch. "You're such a good artist, babe. I feel like...I kinda trapped you..." he face got solemn.

"I stayed because I wanted to stay. It paid off," I smiled, rubbing my belly. "Living with and having a baby with the man of my dreams and a sweet kiddo that I adore means more than art school ever did. Now I get to be a mommy to a precious Little Reedus."

He leaned over, kissing my lips, "I love you, Allie. You, Mingus, and Jellybean. That's my life...all I need."

Right on cue, Eye jumped on the bed, meowing loudly. "You forgot someone," I laughed.

"C'mere fat cat," Norman laughed, reaching at the foot of bed for Eye.

"So how are we going to top the name Mingus Lucien?" I asked, curious.

"I'm going to let you come up with the names," Norman said completely earnest, Eye resting on his chest as he laid back onto the pillow. "You throw in the ideas and I'll agree or disagree."

"Sounds good to me. Guess I had better start brainstorming for the next rock star name," I grinned.

Norman was nearly asleep, gently stroking Eye's black coat, "Mhmm," he murmured.

"Goodnight, baby," I said, leaning in to kiss his cheek before turning the lamp off.

* * *

Norman sat nervously at my side, fidgeting in his seat. He was extra cute today in his black sweater and Levi's.

"You alright, Normy?" I asked in baby-talk.

"I'm just ready to know," he smiled, anxiously tapping his fingertips on the arm of the chair.

I laid on the exam table, my growing belly exposed, as the sonographer drizzled cold, blue goo onto my stomach.

"Jesus! That's cold," I shrilled as Norman laughed, taking my hand and kissing it.

"So, are you guys wanting a boy or a girl?" she asked. She was a pretty Indian lady, slim with long black hair, her olive skin contrasting nicely with her white lab coat. I noticed she couldn't take her eyes off of Norman. I tried to hide my jealousy, but I was only 15 weeks along and already felt like the Goodyear Blimp.

"I don't care, I'm happy with either!" Norman said, excitedly, not even paying attention to the sonographer's stare. He always reminded me of why I love him so much.

"It'd be fun to dress up a little girl," I mustered, biting my lip and meeting Norman's gaze.

"It'd be fun to spoil her," Norman added, squeezing my hand in his. He couldn't stop smiling.

"Well," the sonographer sneered, obviously disappointed in Norman's lack of interest, "here we go," she said gliding the wand across my stomach.

Of course we had to get the 4D ultrasound, Norman wouldn't have it any other way. It was amazing to see what my insides looked like, hard to believe there was a little person growing inside there.

"Oh my God," I gasped as the wand ran over the middle of my stomach, right above my bladder.

"Are those-" Norman's face was pallid.

"Twins? Yes, it appears to be," the sonographer said matter-of-factly.

My jaw hung wide open as I looked at the two tiny babies living inside me.

"Two. Babies." The color was beginning to return to Norman's cheeks as a huge smile spread across his face. "Two fucking babies!" he jumped up, hugging me tightly.

The sonographer shot a dirty look at Norman's profanity, but that was the Norman I knew and loved.

He placed his hand on my jaw, closing it, "I can't believe it, baby, I just can't," I said, becoming overwhelmed with tears in my eyes. "Two? What are we gonna do with two?"

"We're going to be kick ass parents to two beautiful baby..." he looked at the sonographer in question.

"Boys, two boys," she finally let a little smile break out. No one could resist Norman's adorableness.

"Two boys. I'm gonna have 3 sons! Holy shit!" he laughed, leaning down and smothering my cheeks in kisses.

I wiped the incoming tears from the corners of my eyes, "Riott and Ransom Reedus," I smiled up at Norman.

"I totally approve," he leaned in for another kiss. "Rock star names."


End file.
